


Child of Fear

by GracefulRavenFeathers



Series: Child of Fear [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Percy Jackson Fusion, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, Blood, Bullying, Camp Half-Blood (Percy Jackson), Dark, Deciet mention...he's a jerk, Dreams and Nightmares, Flashbacks, Hellhounds, Homophobia, Hurt Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nonbinary Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Nonbinary Character, Phobias, Self-Harm, They them pronouns for v, Thomas is a saytr in this...., Transphobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-13
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-01-12 22:09:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18455585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GracefulRavenFeathers/pseuds/GracefulRavenFeathers
Summary: Virgil is chased into camp and critically injured.He meets a sweet son of Apollo, a dashing son of Aphrodite, and an intimidating son of Athena.Will he find his place at camp? Or will his unusual parentage and crippling anxiety keep him from his destiny?





	1. Chapter 1

Virgil was running, feet pounding the grassy hillside. He didn’t dare look back at what was chasing him. Thomas looked terrified, but Virgil was used to that. As a child of Phobos, Virgil could sense other people’s fears, so he knew just how much trouble they were in. Thomas, the saytr who’d rescued him after he got beaten to a bloody pulp in a high school locker room, had said that once he reached the tall pine tree, he’d be safe. At this point, Virgil was too tired to argue. His side ached from where he’d been kicked. He was black and blue and turning a nasty shade of green. But worse was the intense fear spiking in his chest, making it hard to breathe.

 

They were so close. The tree on the hill loomed, and Thomas let out a breathy chuckle. But luck had never been on Virgil’s side. Two yards away, and he hit a dip in grass. His ankle gave out with a sickening crack. A scream ripped from his throat as he fell. In seemingly slow motion, several things happened at once; Thomas turned, eyes blown wide with terror. Virgil landed hard on his ribs with a thud. And the hellhound chasing him caught up and raked its claws across Virgil’s unprotected back.

 

Virgil almost passed out. His vision blurred, and he only caught bits and pieces of what happened next. Thomas calling for help, the hound snarling near his ear, a kid in an orange shirt appearing, the beast’s teeth ripping up his back, screams, an arrow whistling, the hound going limp, hands touching him, and then…

 

Nothing.

 

***

 

Virgil dreamed of his father. The god of fear was impressive, bulky and tall. His black t-shirt was tight against his forearms. But his two tone eyes--one blue, one green, exactly like Virgil’s--shifted around the room anxiously. Virgil knew him. Unlike most demigod kids, Virgil had been raised by both his father and mother. He knew exactly who he was. But Phobos had left  few years ago, and Virgil hadn't seen him since.

 

“Dad?” Virgil asked cautiously.”Am I…”

 

“Virgil,” Phobos made eye contact. “my child. No, you're not dead. You’re a lot stronger than you think. And camp will help you survive much better than I ever could.”

 

“I'm sorry I couldn't protect you. My brother found out about your mom, and I had to leave or he’d destroy you both.”

 

“Why?” Virgil wondered angrily.

 

“He felt it was distracting me from my duties as Ares’ right hand. And I think he was jealous that I liked someone more than I liked him.”

 

Phobos sighed. “I'm sorry. This path isn't easy. But you’'ll wake up soon, and there will be others to help you. Know that I love you Virgil.” 

 

“I love you too, dad.”

 

He wrapped him in a tight embrace. Then everything faded back to black.

 

***

 

When Virgil woke up, there was someone leaning over him. A kid with a million freckles in an orange t-shirt and khaki cargo shirts was humming as he changed the bandages covering every inch of him. His curly brownish-gold hair caught the sunlight coming from the window, and his big round glasses kept sliding down his nose. He must have noticed when Virgil blearily opened his eyes, because the humming stopped. A warm hand brushed his forehead, pushing the dyed hair back. Virgil realized he must look like a mess. 

 

“Hey kiddo!” The kid beamed down at him. “My name's Patton! I'm glad you’re awake! You gave us all a scare for awhile, that hellhound sure did a number on you. Not to worry though! I’m a son of Apollo, so healing is my specialty! Do you know who you’re godly parent is? If I had to guess I'd prolly say Hades or Ares, but who knows!”

 

Virgil was blown away by the steady stream of words coming from Patton. He’d never met anyone so chatty. As he continued to change the bandages, Patton told his whole life story, gushed about his boyfriends, and shared some puns. Virgil was a little overwhelmed, but in a good way. He couldn't help reading his fear though; arachnophobia. Patton seemed like a good person, and he hoped he didn't end up scaring him away. Like he did everyone.

  
  


***

 

Virgil had to spend a few more days in the medical center, but he was okay with that, because Patton was almost always there in his freckled glory. Sometimes jabbering on, sometimes strumming his uke, sometimes changing bandages or giving out ambrosia. Virgil opened up to him, telling him about his dad, his school. Patton was understanding and kind. They became close friends. 

 

“I’ve never had a best friend before,” Virgil admitted one day. “It’s nice.”

 

Patton teared up, launching himself at the child of Phobos. The hug was tight and warm, and Virgil melted into it. “I'm glad to be your best friend. You’re definitely mine V!”

 

***

 

Finally, he were allowed to leave. Virgil and Patton traveled down the hill to the Apollo cabin, chatting. Virgil was limping, ankle still a little sore, but he managed. He was excited to meet Patton’s boyfriends, because they seemed like nice people from when Patt had gone on an hour long rant about him.

 

Suddenly, Virgil tripped over his own two feet. It would have been a long fall, but something caught him. He looked up and locked eyes with a young man with long brown hair tied up and kaleidoscope eyes--blue, or brown, or violet, or green--and a fear of abandonment or autophobia.

 

“You all right there?” the boy asked in a deep voice, and Virgil snapped out of it. 

 

“Yeah, yeah I'm fine.”

 

“Weak ankles?” He asked jokingly.

 

Patton laughed next to him. “I understand that reference!” He beamed. “Virgil, this is my boyfriend Roman, son of Aphrodite! Ro, this is the child of Phobos I was telling you about!”

 

“Ah! The one who survived the hellhound, very remarkable,” Roman smiled approvingly. Virgil straightened and nodded his thanks. All three of him continued walking. It was interesting to see how Patton and Roman acted around each other, very sweet, giggling and quoting Disney. At one point, Roman scooped the small son of Apollo up princess style and skipped around with him. 

 

When they reached the cabin, a tall young man with black hair and thick black glasses was waiting. He looked strict, no smile and a necktie even though he was only 17 or 18, but his face softened a little when Roman and Patton came closer. Patton leapt from Roman’s arms and ran to the boy. In comparison, Patton was  _ tiny _ . The son of Apollo was barely hitting 5’5”, while the new kid was easily breaking 6’. Roman joined the hug, the only person with a reasonable height(5’8, 5’9 ish). Virgil awkwardly watched the exchange, but it didn't last very long.

 

“Lo, this is Virgil! I was telling you about him, ‘member!?”

 

The tall boy glanced over, then offered his hand. “Nice to meet you, Virgil. My name is Logan, son of Athena.”

 

Looking up into Logan’s stormy eyes, Virgil shook his hand. Unlike most, this kid had two major fears fighting for dominance; the fear of being wrong and the fear of being made fun of (Atychiphobia and Gelotophobia). He intimidated Virgil a bit.

 

“Nice to meet you too,” he managed to choke out through his anxiety.

 

Logan turned to face his boyfriends again. “It is about time for the evening campfire. Shall we take Virgil with us?”

 

Patton nodded happily, skipping over and grabbing Virgil‘s hand. Roman winked. “Then let us depart,” he declared dramatically.

 

As Virgil walked down with his new friends, he new he was going to be ok. He may be a bit of a fourth wheel, but he felt accepted anyway. And he hadn't felt that for a long time.


	2. Chapter 2

Virgil laid on his back in a meadow hidden within the woods. He'd come across it during capture the flag last week and it quickly became his favorite place at camp. He came there often, napping and thinking. Currently he was reminiscing about his experience the last month and a half he'd been living at the camp.

 

Virgil felt safe at camp. Well, as safe as one could feel in a magical summer camp for the children of Greek gods that had a wood full of crazy creatures. He told Chiron about who his father was the first day, and the centaur let him know that they hadn't build a cabin for Phobos. The closest they had was Ares. And that was ok with Virgil. He was welcome to stay in and eat with both the Hermes and Ares cabins, and Patton made it clear he could stay in the Apollo cabin if he so desired. It felt….good to be accepted. He'd never felt that before.

 

Unfortunately, it wasn't all unicorns and rainbows. Though they were outwardly friendly, Virgil could sense the other camper's fear of him. He tended to stay in the shadows and come out of nowhere, frightening people. His aura was darker than the Hades kids'. And when people found out he could sense what they feared most, they didn't trust him. The longer Virgil stayed at camp, the worse it got.

 

Except with Patton. The sunny son of the sun god saw the best in everyone. Virgil spent most of his time with him, even though his siblings didn't much care for his presence. It felt awkward at first, because Patton was usually with his boyfriends, but they came to accept him too. At least a little.

 

Roman was nice. He was handsome and charismatic, and teased Virgil within an inch of his life. Sometimes the nicknames stung, but he was glad he wasn't outright bullying him.

 

Logan, on the other hand, intimidated Virgil. The son of Athena towered over him, and his constant deadpan was very unnerving. Virgil had seen him smile once in the month he'd been at camp. Patton and Roman had tackled him after breakfast and peppered him with a million kisses until the stoic kid cracked a grin.

 

Virgil felt like a 4th wheel, but he was used to not fitting in. He never fit in. And it was usually very painful. In middle school he'd been brutally beaten within an inch of his life when his former best friend Damien outed him to the entire school, both for being gay and nonbinary. It was the reason he refused to completely trust anyone and used he/him pronouns, even though they left a bitter taste in his mouth. He'd internalized them until he called himself a "he" inside his head too. It wasn't comfortable, but better than being hated.

 

Patton was the only person Virgil was tempted to share his gender identity with. Patton was so empathetic, and nice, and cute, and…

 

Virgil sat bolt upright.  _ Crap _ . Was he...crushing on Patton? He was just a friend, he already had two boyfriends, and he was infuriating adorable…

 

Yep. Virgil was in deep trouble now.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This was originally 1 chapter, but I split it into two so it isn't so long. Hope you enjoy!

Virgil walked down the hall purposefully. They were finally going to come out to their best friend, Damien. They'd agonized over it for weeks, but ultimately decided they needed to tell someone. And Damien was their best friend in the whole world. No matter what, Virgil could trust him.

 

They spotted him down the hall at his locker. He was wearing a nirvana shirt under his black leather jacket. His converse matched his dyed yellow hair, and his ripped black jeans rivaled Virgil's. He looked nervous, but it seemed to melt away as he spotted Virgil.

 

"Hey V," Damien said as Virgil finally arrived. "Wassup?"

 

Virgil grinned. "Not much, just the existential fear as usual."

 

Damien laughed. Virgil made eye contact, two tone eyes meeting two tone eyes. That's what brought them together originally, when their peers in elementary school made fun of both of their weird mismatched eyes. Heterochromia is super rare, so meeting someone else with it was cool. They bonded, and had been best friends since.

 

"D, I have to tell you something," Virgil said, anxiety increasing a little as Damien stopped laughing. Were they really going to do this? "I…"

 

"You can tell me anything V."

 

Virgil took a deep breath. "I like guys, and I'm not a guy or a girl. Yep. Just gotta rip it off like a bandaid." They froze, hesitant to see the reaction.

 

Damien's face was unreadable. Virgil could tell they'd caught him off guard, and that it was taking a bit to form a response. Virgil started panicking a little, not knowing what to do.

 

"So you're gay?" Damien sounded strange.

 

"Um," Virgil gulped. "Technically, I'm not, cause I'm not a guy, but I do like boys."

 

"But you are a guy."

 

Virgil winced. "I mean, biologically I am. But I don't identify as a boy, or a girl for that matter."

 

"I don't believe this." Damien was glaring at him now. "You're just confused. Pretending. There are only two genders, and you just haven't met the right girl. Don't talk to me until you figure out what the heck you are."

 

Virgil was frozen in shock, watching their only friend storm away. Distantly, they felt themself running back the way they came, chest so tight they couldn't breathe. They ended up behind the school, gasping for air. Hands tangled in their hair, pulling as hard as they could. They'd screwed everything up. Damien hated them.

 

Through their tears, they noticed a broken bottle. Virgil picked up a jagged piece, turning it over in their fingers. It slipped, slicing their palm open. They hissed in pain, dropping it. Suddenly an awful idea popped into their head. They stared at their bloody hand, then glanced back at the shard. Shakily, Virgil picked it up again and positioned it against his forearm.

 

_ I'm a boy _ cut.

_ He _ cut.

_ Him _ slice.

_ His  _ blood.

_ Male  _ pain.

_ Boy _ slice.

_ Man  _ cut.

_ He  _ blood.

_ His _ slice.

_ Him _ blood.

 

_ If only they could believe it... _

 

Suddenly Virgil snapped out of it. They looked down in horror at what they'd done and began crying again. They fumbled for their phone, fingers slick and red. They hit their dad's contact, sobs racking their form.

 

"Hello?" Phobos' deep voice answered.

 

"Dad?" Virgil managed to choke out.

 

"Virgil, what's wrong?"

 

"Help," Virgil wept, unable to say anything more. The phone slipped out of his hand, shattering the screen. Virgil's hands found their hair again and they felt dizzy. They didn't know how long passed, it could have been seconds knowing their dad, but strong arms were suddenly holding him, a deep voice murmuring words. 

 

Next thing Virgil knew, they were at home. Their eyes flickered open. Their mom was cleaning Virgil's arm, her long dark hair in a thick braid. Her brown eyes were red rimmed, but she wasn't crying. She silently wrapped the bandage around his arm, securing the gauze pads and Neosporin gently. She locked eyes with her child, and Virgil almost started crying again. The thing feared most in that moment was losing them.

 

"Its okay vii-chan. You're safe now," She held Virgil in a hug, the strength of which belied her size. Virgil hummed in contentment as their mom whispered Japanese phrases that Virgil didn't understand.

 

***

 

Virgil woke up, tears in the corners of his eyes. Demigod dreams were the worst. He hated reliving his worst memories every other night. He grabbed some melatonin from his nook by his bunk in the Hermes cabin and took it dry. He turned over (a little too forcefully), and drifted back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! This was pretty dark, so stay safe all you lovely people
> 
> If you liked it, like it, if you like!
> 
>  
> 
> I really appreciate the support you've shown already, I love reading your comments!


	4. Chapter 4

Virgil walked down the hallways the next day, keeping their head down. A teacher had already told them to take their hood off, but they hadn't listened. They could hear lots of whispers wherever they went. Groups of girls giggled as they walked past.

 

When they got to their locker, they had to choke back a sob. A bunch of sticky notes covered their locker. From a distance, it looked like it would be nice, but up close nasty words shouted at Virgil. Snowflakes we taped next to them. Amidst the slurs, there were notes.

 

_Kill_ _yourself_

_There_ are _only_ _two_ _genders_

_Freak_

_Gay_

_Get_ _out_ _of_ _this_ _school_

_Special_ _little_ _snowflake_

 

Virgil had to shove down the panic. They unlocked their locker and grabbed their books. They practically ran to their next class and sat in the back corner. They fought of the panic attack, doing a 4-7-8 pattern and doodling in a notebook. How had everyone found out?

 

Damien walked in, surrounded by some of the popular kids. The group was whispering and giggling. Everything clicked into place. Virgil shakily stood and walked over to their….former best friend.

 

"I trusted you," they said, locking eyes with him. The boy froze, but then slipped into an easy grin.

 

"It's not my fault you're a freak." All the kids around him laughed, and Virgil paled. They went back to their seat as the teacher walked in. They paid zero attention to the class, focusing solely on staying calm.

 

The moment the bell rang, Virgil was out of their seat, almost running to the door. In the hallway kids pushed them into lockers, tripped them up, and whispered. By the end of the day Virgil was bruised from all the pushing and shoving. They had learned nothing in any of their classes.

 

Virgil saw their mom's tan Corolla out the window during last period. They were so grateful to her, they almost cried. The bell rang, and Virgil gathered their stuff quickly and left. They were almost to the front door when someone grabbed them by the backpack and dragged them to the boys bathroom. They struggled, but more boys surrounded them, cutting off all possible escape.

 

The kid in charge was huge for an 8th grader. Virgil hadn't hit their growth spurt yet, but this guy definitely had. He was one of the jocks that had been with Damien that morning. He was grinning like he'd won the lottery.  He sneered down at Virgil, then in a flash kicked them in the stomach. Virgil curled up, gasping for air. The boy yanked them up by their hoodie and shoved them against the wall, slamming their head into the tile. Virgil cried out, and the boy punched them in the face repeatedly before dropping them and walking away. The other kids kicked him around a little too, before they got bored too and left.

 

A few minutes after the group left. Virgil shakily stood up. They picked up their backpack and put their hood up. Every step was painful, but they managed to get to the car without fully breaking down. Their mom looked over worriedly and stroked their hair.

 

“Vii-Chan, what’s wrong dearest?”

 

Virgil started sobbing, explaining their awful day. They couldn’t understand how someone could do this to someone else. He hurt all over, not just physically. He was tired, and betrayed, and in pain. He just wanted to go home.

 

***

 

Virgil woke up again, fed up with his dreams. He needed to cool off. He silently exited the cabin and stomped off in a random direction. The grass was cold on his bare feet, the wind playing with his hair and slicing right through his thin T-shirt and sweats. His feet took him to the lake. He decided to walk around it, even though he was cold.

 

The bullying had only gotten worse after that. His mom and dad determined that it wasn’t safe for him there, and after extensive talks with therapists, principals, and counselors, they moved him to Sanders High. His dad left a few weeks later.

 

Phobos obviously hadn’t wanted to leave. He had cried as he hugged Virgil and his mom, promising he’d always watch over them.Virgil had never seen his father cry. He was a god for crying out loud.

 

School was hard without his dad. But at least no one was bullying him for his gender or sexuality. In fact for a while, no one bullied him. He trained his mind to call itself he/him pronouns. He stayed at the back of the class, never asking questions. He even made a friend, a gangly theatre kid with a limp named Thomas. Too bad it couldn’t last. The beginning of sophomore year someone found out he liked boys. And he got slammed into lockers, called slurs, and outcasted just like old times.

 

Virgil had been getting the crap kicked out of him in the boys locker room when he realized one or two of the bullies wasn’t... normal. His form kept flickering from human to wolf. He barely noticed between the punches, but it was odd. Suddenly, they blows stopped, and Thomas, now pants-less and showing off a pair of goat legs, kicked the bullies off him, grabbed Virgil’s hand, and ran.

 

They caught a bus that took them from New Jersey to Long Island. Thomas began explaining what was happening, but Virgil cut him off. He knew this would happen sooner than later, and his Father’s blessing must’ve protected him for a while. They were almost to camp when the hellhound caught their scent.

 

Virgil shook his head. It was all in the past.He sat down at the edge of the clear water, wrapping his pale, scarred arms around his legs. He wished the memories would go away. Maybe, if he drowned himself...

 

“Hey Kiddo,” a voice sliced through the thought. Virgil looked up and saw Patton in a cat onesie, with a concerned look gracing his freckled features. “You okay?”

 

Virgil nodded, then shook his head, then shrugged, then burst into tears. He was not okay. Patton sat next to him and just hugged him while he cried. Virgil spilled his guts about Damien, the bullying, his gender, his sexuality, even his feelings for him. Everything. By the end, Virgil felt ten pounds lighter. Patton stroked his hair. He was very warm.

 

Patton eventually sat up and took Virgil’s hands in his own. “Do you trust me?” Virgil nodded, and Patton looked down. He gently kissed every scar, self inflicted or otherwise. Virgil was a statue as He went all the way up both arms. Then he placed a kiss on Virgil’s lips.

 

Virgil’s mind went completely blank. He kissed him back, face bright red. Everything was completely, beautifully perfect.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been awhile, sorry guys. This a lot of exposition, but things get interesting at the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed. If you did, I love to read reviews! This is a multichaptered fic. If you want to read how Roman Patt and Logan got together, that story is already up! Thanks for reading!


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